Friendships

Friendships are important and vital relationships that we all need.  The importance and range of a friendship can vary from casual friends, to intimate friends, to confidants, to reliable friends.  Over the past few days, I’ve really taken a look at my friendships, those that are stronger than ever, those that I have lost, and those that I feel like I’m losing.  People always ask what one wants in a friendship or how to keep it going.  I’ve realized that the only thing I need in a friendship is for the other person to be able to both realize I’m their to listen at all times, and to be able to trust that honesty and sincerity should be held in high regard.  My friends can break up with me, can tell it to me straight, and can know that they won’t hurt my feelings to bad.

I appreciate my friends.  Those that will eat a chocolate on V-day for me; those who will randomly take a SFW trip and will stay up and calm you down, those that will look at you as you sit in the passenger seat and tell you that you are perfect just the way you are and that you shouldn’t hurt yourself, those who call you when you need them the most, those who make you smile, those who randomly say hi and brighten your day, those who allow me to vent, and those that allow me to laugh and cry.  Friendships are important, and for those of you who call me their friend now, who have, and who will, I will always be there for you through thick and thin.

Life Lesson #8: You can’t go through life alone; realize you have a friend in me.

The results of…the cleanse

It’s been nearly a week since I ended my cleanse, and I’ve found that it has stuck with me more than I expected.  Since ending the cleanse, I’ve found that I get annoyed with many forms of social media.  Twitter…why do I need to know what you’re doing, what’s going on, or the latest this or that.  If I want to know, I’ll come find it, stop always being there!  Facebook…I’m glad I have chat back, but otherwise please stop inviting me to events when I don’t live in your city, and no, I will not join your mafia…or farm…or whatever the new thing is!  YouTube, i’ve missed you.  I needed to catch up on some inspirational videos.  And blogs (and my Google Reader) sometimes I wonder why I follow some of you!

What I’ve learned is that we have become so inundated with information, that we’ve begun to forget what is important to us.  I forgot what it was like to actually have phone conversations that lasted more than a second, and how to write a letter to someone…hoping they respond.  I also didn’t realize how much time it really takes up in my life.  So much time that I could be spending outside, breathing, living, being!

Life Lesson #7: Remember what a person’s voice sounds like, and what their face looks like.  It’s not the sound of a keypad and the sight of a computer screen.

I’m glad I’m back at it, but I’m scaling down a lot!  And I’m still sending out postcards if anyone wants them!  All I need is your address!

My Digital Cleanse

Beginning January 1, I embarked on a one week “digital cleanse” which ended today.  I did it to see if I could last 7 days without checking Facebook, Twitter, blogs, text or do anything on my phone other than call (and listen to music), but I also did it to see what life is like without these added distractions.  So for a week, I did it, and boy was it an interesting experience.

There was a complete lack of information and contact with my friends.  Few talked to me, seeing as they all knew I wasn’t texting.  When I did call friends to talk, or tell them that something reminded me of them, they were usually excited to actually talk on the phone.  I found out how much communication actually happens online.  I found out 4 days after someone I knew died, because I wasn’t on Facebook.  Instead of using these forms of communication, I wrote letters to friends (which I hope they enjoyed!).  Definitely was interesting trying to remember how to write a letter again!

From this cleanse, I think I’ve learned a few things.  It’s important to use multiple forms of communication, but is really important to realize how much we value face to face and the voice.  I will definitely try to talk with friends via phone calls more often.

So…to starting off the new year, we’ll see what all it has in store for us, and how we communicate to each other!

Money

I’ve been debating about this post for a while, and have decided it’s time to start talking about it.  This is the first of many posts on the topic, I’m sure.

I’ve been hearing a lot of different money issues that make the think about the status of the world we live in.  On one hand, we have those who don’t trust the use of money, and who have “better” ideas in their heads; better ideas that may not actually be beneficial because they are not fully thought through.  On the other hand, we have those who misuse the money that they are to safeguard and use properly.  Though I may not really know much about the way people think, it begins to make me think about how we view each other as people.

Have we begun to loose the trust that we had in each other, and the idea that we shall do good for the world?  Has greed begun to take over those institutions that have always been known as being good?

Just a little random thought, and more to come on the subject as things continue to change in this ever changing world.  I will try and continue to support the good in the world, as well as recognize the not so good.

“My life stinks”…

…”Dude, your perspective on life sucks!”

Today marks the start on the new perspective on life.  You are in control of the way you view the world around you.  Your perspective on life determines if you’ll have a good day or a bad day.  It’s important to keep in mind that you have the ability to control the world around you.

I’m going to work on starting my days off right.  Living life to the fullest and making the day what I want it to be.  Sometimes the day brings things that are not exciting, but we must keep our heads up and persevere.  Keep that positive attitude and make sure your perspective on life is bright and positive!  I’m going to work on this and we shall see where it takes me!

I’m on my way up, are you?

Surprise!!!

This weekend I took a short little jaunt to Tulsa for a friend’s birthday.  It may have been one of the most fun trips I’ve had lately.  I reconnected with an old friend, surprised the hell out of some other friends (including the birthday girl), and was able to relax.  I feel completely refreshed and ready to take on the world!  The only regret I have is that I wasn’t able to see all my friends…but I’ll be back in 2 weeks.

I also learned the importance of growing up, and that people grow up at different points in their life, and are continually growing and changing.  I got plenty of insight on growing up from friends, as well as plenty of insight on my future grad school decisions (yeah, not sure how much longer I’ll still be in grad school…but we’ll save that for another post.)  All I know is that I am happy with the stage that I’m at in growing up.  I can look on the past 5 years and realize I’ve made some really dumb decisions, but also some really good ones.

So, to a surprise birthday, good friends, growing up, and a bright future, I raise this one to you…

Just someone to listen to

Everyone needs it every once in a while, someone to just listen to their words, whether compliments, complaints, or just content.  I learned tonight that some people will complain till they turn blue int he face, but once they are done, they feel so much better because you’ve listened to their complaints.  Others just want to talk about stuff, whether it’s history, current issues, or their day.  As much as it “pains” people to listen, it’s probably one of the nicest things you can do.  Tonight, I listened to comments, complaints, and one woman tell me about history and her father’s “keys to the city.”  Most of them left with a smile on their face, because I gave them the time to just talk.  I listened and interacted with them, even if I was far from interested.  The thing is, one of these days I’ll just want to talk to someone, and I’d hope that someone would give me the same time that I gave those people tonight.

So, Life Lesson #7: Listen to people, for you don’t know when you’ll need someone to listen to you.

Whisper words of wisdom…

It’s time for another year to go by.  I must thank iTunes for the wonderfulness called Genius.  Tonight’s Genius playlist comes from the song “More than This” and included items from Hercules, The Beatles, Moulin Rouge, and more!  What a great way to end a year and start a new.

Getting older is definitely interesting.  On one hand, it’s an accomplishment.  An opportunity to celebrate the accomplishments you’ve had over the past year, the growth, the changes, and the future.  On the other, it’s another day in your life, but that silly number attached to your name gets bigger by 1.  I like to look at birthdays as both.  On the outside, it’s another day in the life.  Things to do, people to meet with, jobs to get done.  But internally it’s a time to reflect on everything I’ve done over the past year (both good and bad), and see the growth.

It’s also an opportunity to reflect on the little miracles of life…or the fact that life in-itself is a miracle.  To be cheesy and quote a movie: “And there it was, this human heart, you know? This human heart. You think about it beating and all, but it’s more of a dance. And I couldn’t get over that that’s all that tethers us to this planet – this one fragile muscle. And how it’s so tiny, really, in the big scheme of things. And when you think about all the things that can stop it… Well you just figure that there’s got to be something else, something miraculous that keeps that valiant little muscle dancing.”

Another day older, hopefully another day wiser, and another day to dance!

The social or the self?

Tonight, in class we were discussing different spectrums within qualitative research.  Well, that sounds really boring so let’s rephrase that.  We were acting out different spectrums.  One thing that was hard to decide was the difference between what I myself think, and what the large group thinks.

A person has the ability to make whatever decision they want to.  The question becomes, when they make that decision, is it totally their decision, or are there factors from the entire social structure that play a role?  How can one look at a group of people and decide if what the people are doing is their own specific idea?  Most humans, it seems, are afraid to venture to far out of what the culture (or social area) they are in tells them.  The unseen pressures of being in a place at a specific time play a role on almost every decision a person makes.  So we can say that we are making a decision because it is what we want and it is completely our random action, but inside are we doing this because of the situation around us (knowingly and/or unknowingly).  Is it truly possible to do something of your own accord, even if you consciously are doing it of your own accord?

What do you think?  Do people make spontaneous and unique choices?  Is it consciously possible?  Is it unconsciously possible?

Communication is…

…the key to everything.

I love studying communication, figuring out how the different ways we communicate produce different outcomes to situations.  I love helping people who are struggling with communication, helping organizations with communication, I love communication!

What amazes me about all of this is that I am terrible at communicating.  I help friends, I watch how and what other people communicate, and it all intrigues me.  Even more than that, the fact that I can’t communicate things intrigues me more.  Communication is a key to life.  We communicate using words, actions, pictures, sounds, everything is a form of communication.  In addition to that, not communicating is a form of communication, and this is one of the areas that I find so interesting.  Starting simple, some people find it annoying to answer a text message with just “K” and instead just don’t respond (I’m one of those, I just feel it’s a waste of a text message and if I have a problem with what you’ve requested, I’d let you know).  But some people take that as you didn’t understand, or you don’t know what to do exactly.  By not communicating, you make the other person wonder if something is wrong.  Everyone responds and thinks differently, so how do you know if you are in the right or wrong?  Again, by communicating.  Let the other person know that you need the “K” to feel like everything truly is “OK.”

So, next time you are unsure about something, add a little more communication into the mix.  And if you are someone who needs more communication, let the other person know.  Have any suggestions?  Post below!